TGIF doesn't really exist for people in theater...

    Okay, this is something my friend PJ brought to my attention and I just had to share it, because I find it so funny...

    Does anybody else really think that I "blasted" Cleveland?!?!  The truth is that I don't want to blast anything, necessarily; I just want to write.  About life, and namely how it pertains to me.

   I suppose it really is true that the pen is mightier than the sword--case in point being the strong emotions that my statements describing my experience in Cleveland evoked...And the fact that my "honorable mention" award at a Halloween party is considered newsworthy is both flattering and um, kind of funny to me, as well.  But I will agree with them when they say that Toronto is treating me well.  It is. I actually really love it here; it's like New York City and London each gave the best of themselves and landed here.  

   And it's another melting pot; just step onto the subway and you will hear English, sure, but with a nice counterpoint of other accents and languages layering it.  And speaking of stepping onto the subway, you can do so without too much attention to where you are stepping because this city--yes, even the subway--is clean!  

   Nope, I don't mind staying here for five weeks, not one bit.  

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  Now, onto some more news.  Clyde Alves, who wonderfully portrays Mike in ACL, is a singer/song-writer like myself and he has put together a gig for us here in Toronto.  It's another benefit for Equity Fights Aids, which I am really excited about, and is slated as An Intimate Night with a Few of the cast of A Chorus Line (or something like that).

   I saw the poster design today, which we will be distributing throughout the city, and it looks fierce (to borrow a word that we have been overusing in the cast lately).  

  It is officially slated for Monday, November 24th, and I will notify you of the place and time as soon as I know it.  I am psyched about this, though, and if you happen to read this and live in Toronto or nearby, then come! It's for a great cause and you get to listen to some music, too, so really it's a win-win situation.

  Clyde will be playing with a band, we will be collaborating some, and I will be doing some solo stuff, just me and the piano...The only sad thing for me is that my friends and family are so far away that they won't be able to come see me play.  At least at my last gig in L.A., my brother Jase could come and support and share a last name with me and everything... 

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  And now you might be saying to yourselves, But Jessica, how are you doing? Or maybe you aren't, but either way, I am going to let you know.

  I am tired. This week has been nonstop for us because we are doing double duty while rehearsing with the replacements during the day as well as performing our regular eight show week. 

  It's emotionally overwhelming to think about how this is the last weekend I have with this exact group of very special people forever.  The brevity of the situation makes me feel like I need to make every moment count, every word weighted and well-chosen, and once again I feel overwhelmed.  Because sometimes moments just tick by and all you have done is eaten a sandwich or applied some lipstick or done one more kick in a kick line and that has to be okay too.   Sometimes you have to realize that it isn't just these last few days that count; they are poignant, sure, because it our nature as humans to count the days left to us, the few more moments that we have, and see before all else the deadline looming larger than life that is irrevocably set before us, even as we still hold desperately to the sands of time and try to stay the clock; but really, it is the sum of all the days spent together that matter, really matter. They are the building blocks, the steady bricks of make-up-less travel days, of sweating together, of water parks and shabbats and conversations about God and how He might be, that have laid this foundation of friendship.  And nobody and nothing can take that away--not even Sunday and the immovable power it holds as we perform our last show together.  

  But still, this whole leaving thing sucks.  

   I don't cry too much for sentimental reasons, but the other night I got teary-eyed during What I Did for Love, just thinking about that stupid and huge good-bye we have to say.  

  But it really is going to be okay.   

  Oh, and also my feet hurt.  Right before our 8 o'clock show tonight I asked Emily, Is it a bad sign if my feet are aching in my socks?  I mean, that probably doesn't bode well for me for the next two hours of my life. I said this right before I put on my heels.  And I was right. Kristine was a little shifty in her weight tonight; you would have been too if your feet felt like mine did. Just be grateful they don't, I guess.

  Okay, that about sums up what I wanted to say tonight.  Except, as promised, I needed to let you know if I wore that fleece I won as a prize last night.  Well, no, I didn't.  This is because it is actually a fleece vest and it is big as a house. But now I guess if I ever double in size and go hiking in Colorado I have just the thing to wear.  I mean, you do need to be prepared for every scenario, right?!