alligator wrestling

You'd think that I have a side business of wrestling alligators at night.

In bed.

You know, to make some extra cash to support my edamame habit.

How else would you explain the way I transform a pristine bed like this:
To a rumpled up, disorderly heap of bed linens and exposed mattress like this?

Really, does anybody else sleep like a whirling dervish?

Oh, and if you need an alligator wrestled, you know where to go.