Not Me Monday, in my own words...

      So, in honor of one of my favorite blogs , I am incorporating something of hers (at least for this week): Not Me Monday!

       It's an honest look at some of our blunders that we did, er, DIDN'T do this week...so (deep breath) here goes!

• While singing my one big number in A Chorus Line, I did not forget the last word that I have to belt out, bringing the song home.  Although the entire duet is about me singing and is in fact titled Sing, and that one word I had to sing at the end was, well, sing, I most certainly did not just wail out the word La! And right at the button of the number I did not hear a fellow cast member whisper La? to another cast member in complete incredulity.  And I certainly didn't have to stifle laughter at my own faux pas. Nope, not me!
• I did not fake a "hamstring issue" with stage management in order to allow my understudy to do the show for her family and friends in her hometown.  I also did not loose a little sleep, due to my anxiety over lying, reminding myself over and over again that it was for the greater good--much like the people who lied about hiding Jews during the holocaust.  I didn't go through any of that because it didn't happen.
• I did not then go to a haunted house the same night of said "hamstring issue," allowing my stage manager to find out about my excursion and even question me about it.  He did not pointedly ask me how I attended the haunted house with my "hamstring issue" and I did not scramble to lamely answer, Ah...I'm pretty sure the adrenaline was good for my hamstring...I mean, it didn't happen--but if it had, I would have come up with a much better reply than that.
• At that same haunted house, I did not have to cheat by refusing to enter an abandoned school bus and instead jump the ropes, run into the woods and around the bus, and meet all my friends on the other side of it.  I was not absolutely terrified when I saw the supposedly deceased bus driver jump to life and then brandish a chain saw and start chasing my friends.  First of all, I wasn't at the haunted house and second of all it's all make believe.  So no way did I just skip the bus altogether; nope, not me!
• I did not only take 2 showers this week.  That would be gross.  But if I did (which I didn't), I would have made sure to put deodorant on everyday, thereby marginalizing the grossness.  But it didn't happen, remember?
• I did not kill a spider and then accidentally allow it to slip out of the tissue paper and fall into my purse. And I do not still have a creeped-out feeling in the pit of my stomach because I never did recover it's body.
• I did not, upon discovering that my computer was coughing and spluttering, but not quite kicking into gear, lay hands on it and pray as if it were an actual person. And God did not, in turn, heal it.
• I did not go into a candy store this week and get overly excited at recognizing my favorite, usually-only-seasonal brand of jelly-beans for sale, not even in their trademark bag. I was not able to recognize them right away, turn around and ask the salesman if these were indeed Just Born jellybeans.  He did not look torn somewhere between wanting to hire me because I was that good a candy connoisseur and thinking that I should maybe get out more because I was a little crazy and obsessed with something as trivial as a jelly bean.  And he most certainly did not have to call the owner of the store from the back just to confirm to me that they were what I thought they were before I would commit to buying them.  

    Well, I feel pretty relieved knowing that none of these things actually happened.  It's kind of like that feeling of relief you get right after waking up from a bad dream and realizing that none of it was real...;-)

       Is there anything that you, ah, didn't do this week?