Thursday, November 19, 2009

I don't want to forget

It's weird, I sort of already forgot about this. I mean, I know I haven't really. And I know it happened and all that, but I've barely given it any thought at all. Not until I looked at this picture, actually. And how strange it is to not be going back to some city sometime soon, for a soundcheck at four and the hope of a Whole Foods that is within a walkable distance.

In a book I recently read, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, Don Miller talks about a guy he knows who keeps a notebook with him and writes down everything that he can remember. All the time. He wants to record his memories because otherwise he'd forget, he says, and I get that. Because although it might not be so bad to forget that time you waited at the DMV for an hour with nothing to do but listen to the sounds of the security guards urging you to please stay in line! and then next! to the person who is unfortunately 50 paces in front of you, it could be sad to forget that time you first met your little niece exactly eleven years ago. And when you walked outside from the birth center to the car that night it looked like the stars had been polished and buffed to the point where God could see his face in them, the newness of that little girl in your life was so radiant.

And I guess that's why pictures are nice too.

They are memories in colors and stills.

Like, I hardly ever think about Japan. I mean, I do occasionally use the emoji app on my iphone, but that's about as much mental energy as I give to anything Japanese lately. Call me present minded, I guess.

But I look at this picture and suddenly I cannot deny that I've been there.
Walking in a bamboo forrest that dwarfed me.

I remember the way the light was barely lasting, the sun was setting and couldn't quite reach around the bend in the road anymore.

And no matter what it feels like sometimes, it's good to remember that there are some things that are true. It's good to write them down, to take pictures of the love you've shared and the places you've walked.

I've been to Japan.

I've swam with manatees.

But more than anything else, I love and I am loved and I have so many memories that can be given as conclusive evidence to support this theory.

But I'll still keep writing it down, because I don't want to forget.


Mandy and Jack said...

I'm glad you write it down. Because aside from simply documenting your own story, you have a way of putting your audience exactly where you are and letting us experience every single sense. You write more eloquently than I think anybody I know. I love your writing. Thanks for sharing your story with me. :)

Jessica Latshaw said...

thank you so much, mandy. that is incredibly kind.

beingawesome said...

I will be honest here.. the thing that will keep me reading your blog is your innate sense of humor.. You realllly have the gift of taking even a sad entry and making it humorous..even if it's just with some slight word play... love it.

James Ricardo The Actor said...

I'm glad you won't forget that experience, because you won't be forgotten! It was weird last night to sit at "Dreamgirls", and be with the whole cast! It felt like we never left tour, and we were just watching a show in some random city! I'm sure when all of this feeling fades, I will have to look at pictures to remember. Miss ya face, and see ya soon!

peaj said...

Could forgetfulness be a result of our mortal bodies? Perhaps when God raises us up into our new bodies, we will remember with perfect memory - remembering with clarity and joy the good things, and with perspective and wise understanding the place of all the bad things. Interesting thought.

Jess, I also thank you for sharing your daily notebook with us.

sarah said...

that is such a good is easy to forget..i try to write things down in journals for Liam and Corin..things they like and do and say..i should start my own too!!! it is so good to remember the good things and to have a point of reference..where the things don't just all run together. i could read your writing all day!!! you should write a book someday:) i would buy it:)

Michele said...

I've always thought that I should keep a gratitude journal. Seems like the enemy likes to steal away the good memories, but keep the bad ones alive and well! At least, that's how it is for me :( I, too, appreciate you sharing your memories with us :)

christine said...

Beautiful Jess. That's what you are, that's what your writing is, and that's what your life is. I have a million wonderful memories with you that are both written on paper and in my heart. Thanks for sharing all the ones I didn't get to be a part of but was able to witness through your writing.

paige said...

wow. that last paragraph got me. i try so hard to believe the "conclusive proof" that i'm loved, but it seems so easy to deny.