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Friday, August 7, 2009

it's a long long road sometimes

It's official.


And here's the proof.
My visa. For Japan.

FOR JAPAN!!!

And aside from the fact that I look exactly like my brothers in this picture, it's a teensy tiny bit exciting to look at it.

But I don't really want to go. I just hate the leaving home part. The last hugs, last words, the last last last...

I. Hate. It.

But still, it's traveling. Like, so exciting. Whenever I tell someone that I am leaving to work in Japan for a month they look at me like I told them that, I don't know, I just won the lottery or something. You know, something awesome. A dream. And then I feel like saying if it's so freaking fantastic why don't you go and I'll just stay home???

At dinner tonight I asked Drew if it was too late to reschedule. Something came up. Something like home. And Drew. And how much I need to be with him. So...yeah, I'm not gonna be able to make it.

Okay, just kidding.

I'll make it.

And to prove it, I have half a suitcase packed already with nearly 40 pairs of underwear inside, waiting to be worn in Japan. And no, not at the same time, smarty pants.

I know, I know, God has opened this door and all that. It's gonna be good. But right now--well, it's hard.

But I've been through it enough by now to know that there is grace for me, joy for me. Even all the way in Japan.

Wow. And that's not a sarcastic wow, believe it or not; I mean it, I am amazed by how God continues to bolster my heart, to encourage me, to help me to do it--whatever it is at the moment.

Even if it means doing it afraid, it doesn't end there.

So here's to anticipating some beauty that for some reason can only be found in Japan...and wading through the sadness in the meantime...

Now you'll forgive me for leaving--I have a mom and a few dogs on their way to wish me bon voyage, as well as a husband whose on his way back home after unexpectedly getting off from work tonight to be with me.

So really, who can be too terribly sad after describing their situation like that?

11 comments:

joshsetsfire said...

goodbye jess...we'll miss you..Sayounara

James Ricardo The Actor said...

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN! I'M SO SO SO EXCITED, I'M SCREAMING IN MY HEAD!!!!! OK, I KNOW YOU WILL MISS YOUR BOO. SKYPE A WHOLE LOT! AND HE WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN WE GET BACK FROM THE BEST TRIP EVER...I'M CLAIMING IT!!!!! LOVE YA, AND SEE YA ON THAT LONG FLIGHT IN THE AM!

Emily said...

oh, I can only imagine the combo of sad and exited that must be tumbling around inside of you! It WILL be great. and hard. but a month flies! at least in my world... have a wonder-filled trip!

christine said...

How great that Drew got to come home early from work! Emily is right, a month goes by so fast. You'll be home before you know it and then only two months after that and you're done. No more leaving...at least Drew anyway : ) I love you friend and will be praying for an amazing time and amazing grace to be away from home.

Cosette said...

We'll miss you Jess! All of us! You'll have some great times and great stories but this leaving is getting old! We want you around!!!

- Jonathan, Rebekah, Charis, Selah, Cosi, and JUDAH!

Sir Tophs a Lot said...

Don't worry!!! I'm here working for Tokyo Disney and I'm excited for you to come play and be here and see us and have tons of fun!!!! I think we might be having a big gai-jin party tomorrow night (you're probably flying here right now) and I want you to get here and play!!! Sorry Drew but we are stealing her for fun!

kathiek said...

Jess, I pray you have a safe trip and a wonderful experience in Japan. God bless you and keep you in His care (as He always does). Of course we will miss you, so write often about your exploits, okay?! As always, e-mail me with any prayer requests you may have. God bless you and fill you with His grace and peace.

Blessings on your head, Jess!

Mandy and Jack said...

Awwww bummer. I'm sad you have to leave your friend.

peaj said...

Not sure why, but I feel like telling you the words that God spoke to Joshua:

Be strong and courageous. Every place that you place your foot will be yours.

I think that you will have favor in Japan. We care about you.

Mom said...

Are you glad that I don't cry when you leave, Jess? Just so you know: I could!!!!! But I don't like good-byes either and I want them as pleasant and normal as possible. As Janine & I would say: that's the Connecticut way!

I loved spending so much time with you this furlough! No matter what you experience out there, you still are the same person. There's still an innocence about you that I really love. And when you come home, it's as if you've never left.

Also, I LOVE how you LOVE the furkids. People who love animals have God's heart for them.

Have a wonderful time in Asia (you see, I got it right!) I hope I get the whole skykes thing right! Love you!

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