Saturday, August 29, 2009

desert rose. or the ramblings of an insomniac.

It's 5 am, or close enough anyway, and I am still awake.

Maddeningly so.

Tossing and turning, like one more flop on this bed is going to land me in sleep.

I am up, thinking of him. Wondering where he is, how he is, what he's thinking right now, and how stupid it is that there is an ocean between us.

An ocean.

Full of fish and lost cities and organisms that somehow thrive in the underwater volcanos and have you heard that there are whole mountain ranges down there?


Who can keep track of it all?

I have to believe Someone can, someone does.

And that I am involved in that; I am being kept track of, so to speak.

I have been here 3 weeks already and have only one week left to go. But right now, at 5 am, each day of that week stretches before me like the desert itself. Like the desert without a guide. Like the desert without even a pair of sunglasses.

But I've heard of the desert rose, and I am convinced that I will find it; beauty thrives in impossible places, made even more startling by the contrast it makes as it blooms.


kathiek said...

It's a difficult hour to be awake when you are missing someone, I can totally relate. Even though I am the one who is home and John is often away it is still hard sometimes. I suppose those lonely times may be easier for me to bear because I am in my own home and have my things about me and the comfort of the familiar, but when you miss someone, you miss them regardless of your surroundings. Sometimes it even seems harder because he's supposed to be in the bed next to me, or working down in the basement, or out in the yard...but he isn't.

I know this is easy for me to say, but this last week will be gone before you know it and then you'll be with Drew again...or at least on the same continent! Hang in there, Jess! God bless you.

Jessica Latshaw said...

Kathie--I don't think one is definitely harder than the other. In some ways maybe even being the one left at home, to go home to a house that you both share, sleep alone in the bed that you share, could be harder. I, at least, get distracted by all these new adventures...but still, missing someone hurts, no matter how you look at it, I guess. Thank you for your encouragement and I hope John is home with you tonight:)

Michele said...

I'm sorry this has been such a hard trip Jessica. I will pray that the final week goes quickly and that you have lots of adventures to keep you distracted and sleepy! How long will you be with us when you return?

James Ricardo The Actor said...

I feel you boo! Thanks for the friendship, and sharing your story!

Jessica Latshaw said...

Michele, thanks...and there are tons of parts of this trip that is really fun and is an adventure. Just every once in a while there's a white night to endure, you know? I will be home for two weeks before I go back out--but then, just three weeks in the states and five weeks in Canada until I am HOME FREE!!!

Jessica Latshaw said...

and JR--I missed you!!! Hope you are...feeling better...xoxoxo:)

Anonymous said...

That ocean is largely unexplored and mysterious! Much like drew.

Karenkool said...

I hope you get some good sleep tonight. Lack of sleep makes the "bad things" about life seem so much worse!!!

Love the comment "anonymous" made!!!! Who could THAT have been?

jason said...

you know... anonymous was actually me!

Jessica Latshaw said...

lol, Jase--glad you came forward! otherwise, anon could have sounded like a real creeper!

And Karen--I got a great night's sleep last night...things are looking up:)