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Thursday, August 13, 2009

I feel the earth move under my feet, just like Carol King said.

Okay first, don't be jealous, but there's something I have to tell you.


Not only does my current toilet come installed with a bidet, it also has a seat warmer.

Enough said.

Second, this whole earth quake situation has me mildly freaked out. Well, if the realization that you really can do nothing about it but you're still apprehensive can be called freaked out.

See, the thing is, I got it the first time, Japan. If you're trying to impress a girl from Pennsylvania with your ability to roll up the earth and make it seem like it's not ground at all, consider your goal achieved.

And really, some might say that three quakes in four days might be overkill. Like you're overcompensating. Are you thinking I might not notice how much of your sushi is slathered in mayonnaise if you keep the ground fluid? Are you thinking that a little tremble beneath my feet will keep me from running to the bathroom and spitting that mayo-slathered-sushi out?

If so, you're wrong.

Cause I will not eat mayonnaise in a quake; I will not eat it in a lake; I will not eat it Japan-I-Am; I will not eat it anywhere.

But moving on. And trusting God that I will make it back to America in one piece. And still moving on.

I am exhausted. Completely drained. I have done four shows in 24 hours and have yet another matinee tomorrow. I got five hours of sleep last night and my show shoes feel like they simply must be mistaken for something else because surely those torture devices could not have been intended to actually be worn; not by a blue-blooded and voting American, not in a democracy, not by someone who naively thinks they are ideal for not only standing but also dancing.

Seriously, the pain in my feet have reminded me once again how awfully a foot can ache. On the break, I had sort of forgotten about all of that, which was nice.

Tonight we had dinner in a Mexican restaurant. In Tokyo, Japan. Six of us walked in, and upon taking our seating number, the hostess asked if we wouldn't mind sharing a table. Of course not, we said, and we were led to share the table with these two gentlemen.
We pretended that we weren't taking the picture with them, but rather just with me and Brandon, but really I had instructed Sterling to please make sure she got our strange table fellows in the picture--and I obviously had to sidle up as close to them as propriety would allow.

The unfortunate part was that one was a chain smoker. As we were seated I assumed that they would be leaving soon, given that they had basically finished their meal, but no. Wouldn't you know that they had so much to talk about, so much to smoke about, and so we shared this table for almost the entirety of the meal.

I wouldn't have minded so much if it weren't for the part when their stinky cigarette smoke kept wafting in my face. Like it was cute. Like it didn't shrivel my lungs.

And a sweet Japanese woman convinced me to purchase some face wash that had, among other things, avocado and charcoal in it.
I tried it and so far, so good.

I also washed it off and am now completely ready for bed.

Thank God for this.

9 comments:

Mandy and Jack said...

You, Jessica Latshaw, make me laugh every day.

James Ricardo The Actor said...

LOL, about the facewash! Pretty Look! but hey, if it works!!!!

Bidet's are for women the shower is for men, didn't know that until I tried yesterday..OPPS Disaster!

Sharing a table? I HATE SMOKING! You are a better girl then me! Wait I'm not a girl!

See ya at the torture matinee!!!!!

kathiek said...

I am so spoiled by the fact that smoking is not allowed in public places in Delaware. I don't know if I could stay at that table like you did. I don't know if the asthma would kick in or not.

Avocado and charcoal...intriguing. Is it strictly a Japanese brand, or is it something you could purchase in the states, too? Lush has something similar, I think, called "Dark Angels". It is an exfoliating wash with charcoal, but I don't know if it has avocado in it. I use "Angels on Bare Skin", which is a good exfoliating wash for people with sensitive skin.

I love sushi, but I don't understand the appeal of mayonnaise on raw fish.

Jessica Latshaw said...

glad to do my part, Mandy:)

JR--you are crazy/funny/sweet/daring and DEFINITELY NOT GIRL!!!

Kathie--yep, we were in Lush wandering around between shows and the saleslady totally got me! Didn't know what it was called cause it was in Japanese, but it seems to work really well...My friend is constantly on the look out for the face cream that has bird poop in it--supposedly that's what the Japanese women use to keep their skin so young! Ha! So charcoal doesn't seem so crazy compared to that:)

NightBlue Performing Arts Company said...

Love your blog! Been reading it since you guys performed in Chicago.
BTW it's nightingale poop that Geishas use!

Jessica Latshaw said...

THanks, Nightblue! I will be certain to pass that info on to my friend--he will totally appreciate it!!!

Min said...

Oh the bidets!!! I totally had no idea what all the buttons were for when first faced with one. Standing next to the said contraption, after using it for it's obvious and most practical reason, I studied the various markings and gave a button a try. The water shot out from the back of the toilet and across the floor!!! I was a guest in someone's house and gasped at the mess that was growing on the tiles. I had never seen, used, or studied a bidet before and was shocked at the force of the water. After taking a great deal of time to clean up the mess I decided I would have to hold my pee more often than not!

Min said...

Oh the bidets!!! I totally had no idea what all the buttons were for when first faced with one. Standing next to the said contraption, after using it for it's obvious and most practical reason, I studied the various markings and gave a button a try. The water shot out from the back of the toilet and across the floor!!! I was a guest in someone's house and gasped at the mess that was growing on the tiles. I had never seen, used, or studied a bidet before and was shocked at the force of the water. After taking a great deal of time to clean up the mess I decided I would have to hold my pee more often than not!

Jessica Latshaw said...

that is hilarious! I don't think I would have the courage to try out the bidet in somebody else's house! Especially not for the first time...Lucky for me, I am in my own private hotel room and therefore can make my own private messes:)

But I actually totally support the bidet and think American toilets should have them more often.