this birthday

Birthdays make me cry.

But not in a bad way, necessarily.

It's just a little crazy how on one day all eyes feel suddenly turned on you. It's a spotlight that comes whether you are ready or not. It's a day you are told to look forward to since you understood the meaning of cake and candles.

It's a lot.

A lot of good.

But sometimes it can feel a little disappointing.

Like Christmas when you look around and all you see is a floor littered with green and red and gold wrapping. Like your college diploma that you tuck into a drawer and only think about when you pay your loan; that you only view when you have to take it out of the drawer just to pack it in a box en route to a new drawer because you are moving to a new home.

It's always a whole year coming. It's always full of reflection. It's always a measure of love, somehow.

And with 106 and counting kind wishes on my facebook wall, a surprise party masterminded by Drew, a family party in which my mom cooked my childhood favorite meal, three different songs left on my voicemail, cards, and even more messages left on my voicemail that were of the non-sung variety--How could I feel anything but loved?

I cannot.

But at the same time, when I woke up earlier than I would have liked this morning in order to run to a rehearsal so I could choreograph one of the numbers for the production of Godspell which Drew is directing and simply scarfed down a nutrigrain bar in the car, I couldn't help but think--

This is my birthday. I should be eating pancakes. I should be sitting down at a table, at least.

And now you all know that the truth of the matter is that I can be quite spoiled. That when Drew married me he got himself into a bit of a situation. One which calls for total adoration on his part. One which, when taking the needs evaluation test in the book His Needs, Her Needs and pondering which three out of the ten needs presented should Drew prioritize, I simply chose all of the above.

But, I am worth it...right, Drew?

Anyway, this birthday was quite lovely.

I am nothing if not loved and that is nothing if not inspiring.

Drew had to work tonight, but my mom and Jenna picked up the slack.

We went to Philly. I finally got some yoga/dancewear from Lululemon. Seriously, I am the last girl in ACL to finally have some. And this stuff rocks. The pants I got tonight have a little ipod-shaped pocket. Genius.

We ate salads at Potbelly's and then quickly undid those salads by going to the Naked Chocolate Bar.

But it was my birthday. After a nutrigrain bar and a salad, I wanted something to make me smile.

And yes, my sister makes me smile, but I am talking something delicious to eat.
You know, like that.

And while we were there, my dear friend John stopped by and the four of us had a lovely talk. He's a beautiful person and I was lucky enough to see him on my birthday last year while I was in L.A. I love facebook for the times like tonight when John saw Jenna's status about going to Philly and then tracked us down via text.

Today, facebook certainly made my birthday better.

But that wasn't the only thing to make my birthday better...Drew gave me a diamond necklace this year.

What?

He's the only man to ever have given me a diamond. And I am grateful every time.

Certainly for the earrings.

And absolutely for this necklace.

And I will always cherish the ring he gave me 6 years ago this August.

Always.