Friday, June 26, 2009

it's not what you call me, but what I answer to--african proverb

The sweet strains of Japanese are serenading me right now as my roommate faithfully practices the language of the land which we are visiting at the end of the summer.

She now knows how to say, An adult woman is swimming, which will be a perfect conversation starter at the stage door, I am sure.

I mean, really, there's got to be an adult woman swimming somewhere in the world at that moment, even if it isn't exactly pertinent to the situation at hand.

I am feeling content with my thorough knowledge of the word, konichiwa.

That means hello, as you probably already know.

I plan on saying that a lot.

And when they ask me if I've had Japanese lessons, I will simply and modestly say no--self-taught, actually. And then I will take a sniff and mention something about how languages are just intuitive with some people.

As is the need to rise to a challenge.

To scale any wall.

And I don't mean that metaphorically, at least not tonight.

See, three of us are walking home tonight and on a whim decide to take the river walk to get there. It's just lovely here and who doesn't want to see the moon reflecting on the water as much as possible?

That's what I thought.

Anyway, we start on the river walk and much to our chagrin see that it has been closed off with a chain link fence, due to some sort of construction or other such nonsense.

We probably would have just taken the two block detour and veered away from the river walk had it not been for the two heckling men that were sitting by the chain link fence.

River walk's closed, ladies, the one guy seems only too happy to report to us.

Yep, you're gonna have to go around, guy number two says, I mean, whatcha gonna do--scale that fence in those pretty dresses?

And with that they both share an extremely long and generous laugh at what, to them, must seem like the most preposterous and ridiculous idea ever swapped between two men in the history of manly idea swapping.

And I am pretty sure there have been a fair share of ridiculous ideas swapped.

Just saying.

We don't need to say anything, really, their laugh having sealed the deal.

With resolution in our steps, we walk up those stairs and right up to the chain link fence. Like a good team, we work together.

Deanna stands directly behind me, blocking the men's view, should my dress lift a little too much as I am the first to scale the fence. With the river on my right and chain link on my left, I loop a leg over the fence. As I swing my body over it I glimpse one of the guys in the peanut gallery with his camera poised at me.


Hopefully he has a blog.

We pass bags for each other to hold and link arms as, one after the other, all three of us safely make it across.

We are Superwoman, Madeline Albright, and Rosa Parks all at once.

We take a few paces feeling quite proud of ourselves, laughing and savoring the moment as we leave those hecklers behind when suddenly we come upon an even bigger chain link fence.


Turning back is not an option.

Not with Thing 1 and Thing 2 back there; not with their camera and not with their laughter.

Again, we walk up to it, determined to make this thing work.

Thank God we are dancers. There is a hole, a tiny space between the chain link fence and the railing and one by one, we shimmy through, passing bags and grabbing hands.

We come through as women victorious. We wear dresses and climb fences.

And oh yeah, we get our periods.

Which is why I sent this text to my friend Emily today:

So I got my period at the beach today
and I fully blame you, my friend. Thanks
for dragging me into your lunar cycle;
really appreciate it...

After a few moments, I hadn't gotten any texts back from her, which surprised me a little.

Finally my phone lit up with a text and I looked down to see this from Amos:

With all due respect...I don't get a period so bugger off!!!



kathiek said...

Jess, you crack me up! What a great, funny, story!

Jessica Latshaw said...

ha! thanks!

beingawesome said...

This two guy story creeps me out a bit.. but you showed them in the end which makes it all the better.

you got the cajones lady.

Jessica Latshaw said...

yeah, the camera was a bit much...but we certainly did have the last laugh!

James Ricardo The Actor said...

OK climbing fences, you girls make me nervous! That is dangerous boo! Someone could have gotten hurt! I'm glad your alright. I'm sorry that the local men don't know how to respect a lady! REALLY?

Amos Lied he does get his period? LOL Just a Joke!

I'm glad you got the view of the river at night though! Alot of work for it, but you got it!

Michele said...

Hilarious once again! You go - you fence climbing, period getting, superchicks!

jason said...

You know... sometimes fences are there for a good reason!

Jessica Latshaw said...

JR and Jase-don't you worry, we were safe; if it had been treacherously dangerous we wouldn't have done it! But thanks for the concern;-)

Michele--I know that's right!!!

Jessica Latshaw said...

And JR--I was wondering why Amos asked to borrow a tampon the other day!!!