Stepping away from ACL for a mere 8 shows and then stepping back into it should be easy as pie, right? Two quick steps, kind of like dancing. And since I have my degree in dance performance--well, ain't no thing.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
That's the theory, anyway.
But then throw into the equation a new theater that I have never performed in before, as well as a new zach light (two, small blue lights that are hung at the back of the house; it is these lights that we are supposed to direct all of our focus on when we are talking to Zach), the steps get a little bit more complicated then that.
Everything was fine. Fun, actually. I have this habit of going over my monologue and song while I am waiting upstage in the dark, back to the audience during At the Ballet, and today was no different. The words rolled through my mind with ease, just like that riding a bike adage. Even when Zach called me forward, it was fine, I was fine. But then I saw those little blue zach lights. And they were sooooo far away. And I started marveling about how far away they were in the middle of my monologue. And that was my Achilles' heel.
I blanked. Completely.
My body responded with all the red flags, my brain yelling to the rest of it's troops, ALL SYSTEMS DOWN!!!! My heart was racing, I got all hot inside and felt like my insides were quickly turning to something akin to a puddle. Luckily, I play Kristine, who can't quite finish her own sentence anyway, so all the extra ums and ahs were actually in character. And it only lasted a few moments till I was back on track, but still it was absolutely terrifying.
It really shook me. Live theater, folks. Live theater. Which is why I can't beat myself up. It happens. Not so awesome that it happened the first show back after my vacation...But still, it happens.
And there you go. Further proof that I am not now, nor ever will be perfect (which doesn't mean that I am gonna stop trying!) Not that you guys were looking for proof. Those of you who know me probably stopped looking a while ago:)
As you know, I am now in Detroit. Snowy, -3 degrees Detroit. What I didn't know before I got here is that Detroit is somewhat close to Canada, just a shortish drive away, in fact. And now I will pause so that you can laugh at my lack of geographical skills.
It's okay, I really don't mind that you laughed.
And another thing. Driving to the theater tonight, we passed a small cavalcade of flashing and blinking police cars on the side of the road. Not every one was a police car, though; there was one that wasn't and it was the one with the large bullet hole in the front windshield.
God keep us and watch over us.