Tonight, I met another one of Jason's friends, Matt. He is super cool and funny and smart--not to mention very kind. I am glad Jase has a friend like him out here. They came to my show tonight, and then we went to an Italian restaurant right near where I live here in Los Feliz. We were maybe a quarter way through the meal, when I finally asked a question that had been bugging me since we were first seated by our server: So, is our server a waiter or a waitress? They both looked at me like I had asked them if our server was human or alien, or something equally ridiculous, and said that he was obviously a waiter. Oh, well--he could have fooled me. We went back to our conversation and didn't mention it.
Until, that is, the waiter came back. And again, I was like, I am pretty sure she is a woman. Listen to her voice. At that point, Matt started to vacillate in his position. But Jase was still adamant that the server was a man. Yes, she had short, un-styled hair, wore no make-up, and obviously was not trying to portray any sense of femininity, but still I just knew down deep that she was, well, a she. Maybe it takes one to know one, or something.
Matt was like, look for the adam's apple and we'll solve this thing. So now every time she came back all three of us tried to nonchalantly and unobtrusively look for an adam's apple. However, she had a slight double-chin that did a great job of masking the entire neck area. I looked for a name on her shirt, on the bill, on anything, but nothing. With our luck, if we had actually seen a name, it probably would have been something like Pat or Sam, anyway. However, by the end of the night Matt was convinced, along with me, that she was a woman. And actually, I think that Jase came around too. At least they weren't acting like I was crazy for wondering anymore. Cause now, they do too. I guess we'll never really know--but actually, I am pretty sure I was right all along.
7 comments:
My only question to those with the apperance of androgeny is "why?" They obviously aren't comfortable with who they are physically, but isn't it ironic how the confusion they bare inside is so apparent on the outside... They can't figure out what they are and so they make everyone around them feel just as confused about it. Like a cry for help. I feel sad for them. I wonder what factors in their lives lead them to becoming so unidentifiable.
for the record, I still do not know...
right, but I do:-)
and min--I know, it's sad. They must feel confused, too, I guess.
by the way... "androgyny" is the correct spelling of the word... spell-check on the iphone doesn't always pick up that stuff, sorry for that...
but seriously, what do you tell your kids when they ask about these kinds of folks and you don't know?! they are not just in LA!
"androgyny" is a cool word because andro means husband / man in ancient greek and "gyny" means wife / woman.
I would just tell my kids that with some people you can't really tell, because that's the truth! One thing to remember though is that what identifies a man or a woman does change and it's confusing all around. It used to be long hair meant a woman and short hair means a man, but that's not really the case anymore for anyone. Same with earrings. Same with eye makeup (now the emo kids, even those who have no gender confusion, wear it). Women are allowed to "cross-dress" ALL the time, wearing anything at all that men wear and remain "normal women," but men aren't (and now I'm not complaining, I'm just pointing out the inconsistency.) Think about it, women wear jeans and t-shirts all the time, and at a point in history, these are completely male clothes. Yet if a man were to wear a dress and a blouse, it would be considered crazy.
All that to say it's a confusing situation all around. And just tell your kids that even if you can't tell if they are girls or boys you should just try to love them. ahhhh.....
yep, definitely love and respect would be the way to go...
all we need is love... dududududu
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