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Sunday, July 13, 2008

conflict. ugh.



       I am exhausted, emotionally and physically.  I can't really get into detail, but I got into some conflict with somebody tonight that has left me feeling drained.  It's a little scary for me to conflict with someone who isn't in my family; with someone who doesn't love me or even like me much, for that matter.  It's scary for me when that person won't believe me when I tell them that my intentions towards them were only good.  It's even scarier when they tell me that, to them, intentions just don't even matter.  Because to me, intentions reveal the heart of a person; to me, intentions probably matter the most.  And even when I tried to tell her what my intentions were towards her, she flat out would not believe me.  She told me that.  And so I had to leave it at that.  

       But, I think this is good for me.  I know that God has put this person in my path for a reason.  And I want to be their friend. I want to be kind.  And not everybody has to like me; really, maybe it's good for me to realize this.  

      After all that, I will say that I do have a lot of good friends who care about me--and I will go so far as to say even like me--in this cast.  Tonight was just a rough one, but that's part of this life, right?  I know that God has good things for me in every cycle of life, which includes the things that may hurt at the time.  Sorry if this post was a little sad--and more than a little vague.  I really am feeling much better about this, though.  And I really am feeling exhausted.   So, I say time to go to bed...

8 comments:

Jonathan Latshaw said...

Jess! We Latshaws hate conflict, so sorry you had to deal with that. Hopefully you can continue to love this person and find a place of peace. Miss you so much!!

Mom & Pop said...

I think I really took a big step of maturity when I truly realized that everyone didn't have to like me and that even when I tried and tried to work out a conflict, that sometimes things just end up poorly. And I was able, by the grace of God to live with that. Before I reached this point, I really believed that if you just tried really hard, every conflict could always be worked out. A silver lining in every conflict. Well, it doesn't always end up well, but we can still determine to love and stand firm in integrity and do the right things. Certainly the conflict with Jesus and Judas never got worked out. And Jesus could still go ahead and do what He needed to do. So can we with His peace. I'm sorry that you are going through this. I miss you so much! I wish you were here so we could tangibly show you how much we care!

Mom said...

Hey.....I don't know why it said Mom & Pop on that last comment--it was only Mom!

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Lady Leth said...

I hate conflict too. It is difficult to have strife--especially when you have to be in close quarters. I hope that things work themselves out.

min said...

Conflict is so difficult! Finding the right words and the best way to explain your position can be so draining! I hate conflict because if makes insures feel like an earthquake is going on and all I can do is grasp for someway to reduore peace... Usually my solution is run and hide and hope the words come to me! I hope for you that this situation can get better. Keep us all posted!

jason said...

sometimes people are just swirling vortexes of negative energy and you kind of have to keep your distance from those ones. It's like the story of the frog and the scorpion.

min said...

whoa, sorry for all those crazy typos (drat that iPhone!)!!! Just talking about conflict messes me up... Imagine trying to fight with me... Just garbelie goop the whole time (sigh).