Thursday, April 30, 2009

boots socks and blues

Okay, so I learned a few things today.

When wearing tall, fur lined boots (um, faux fur lined, but still), it is not the best idea in the world to wear K-mart special socks. Since they pretty much lost all shape while wearing them only the second time--their elasticity having gone the way of the ten year old underwear that is kept only for emergencies--they don't really stay up by the ankle, as seen on the picture that was so prettily taped across the whole bunch of them while still in K-mart.

No, after about four steps (and sooner if it happens to be stairs we're talking about) they start sliding off the ankle, curling up and resting right under the arch, causing wherever it is you are walking to be instantly too far away because you just cannot get those socks put back to their rightful place soon enough.

Um seriously, walking with socks bunched around my arches makes me mad at the world.

And willing to drop some serious cash in order to rectify it.

But don't think I didn't try to do it manually first.

Always a spendthrift (and by always I mean lately since Drew and I just fixed ourselves a nice tight budget--yay us!!!), I didn't want to just go and buy socks. Not if it wasn't absolutely necessary and every stone hadn't already been unturned.

While sitting waiting for the subway train to arrive I dug into each boot, pulling each sock back into place with the ease and grace of a surgeon. The relief was instantaneous.

And once I started walking again, so was the sock slippage.

That's it.

I saw a department store. I went in. I was only partially distracted by the blouses up front, the bags in the middle, and the bathing suits upstairs. And oh yeah, I did happen to glance at the shoes. But they were near the socks, so could you blame me, really?

I saw some puma socks. They looked perfectly taut, able to hold onto an ankle, were non-offensive as far as color, and the price was right.

Done and done.

I walked out of that store with new socks in my purse (since I am trying to say no to plastic bags lately, at least as much as I can) and felt like a new woman as soon as I exchanged them with the K-Mart socks.

Aaaaaaaaaaah, now that's what a sock is supposed to do.

And the other thing I learned?

When going to a blues club with a smoking live band just don't wear tall fur line boots.

Like, at all.

Chances are pretty high that you will end up dancing until two in the morning, closing the place down after having gone to church (or so said the singer who was wailing at the time) with the rest of the crowd, meeting some Argentinians who barely speak any English so you might as well try telling them that you are a beluga whale when you tell them you are married with all the good that does, getting your picture taken with them anyway, laughing and oh yeah did I mention dancing with friends already? because all of that gets you really really warm by 2 am and wishing you had left the tall fur lined boots at home for the evening.

And very grateful for the puma socks.


Emily said...

when english fails us, waving the ring finger and pointing dramatically can work... sounds like a super fun evening, minus the sock slippage and sweaty feet!

I love the feeling of a new budget, it's full of purpose and accomplishment!

Anonymous said...

did you see this? A Chorus Line is on there!

Anonymous said...

peaj said...

Though I really enjoy trivia and little interesting facts, I hope to never have to use your information on wearing faux fur lined boots. Though your implication that wearing faux fur lined boots to a blues club will almost certainly lead me to stay out dancing until 2am and lead to me meeting some Argentinians is intriguing.

Jessica Latshaw said...

Peaj, I am almost certain that would be the outcome were you to wear the tall fur lined boots.

Emily--yes, the ring finger would have helped! I just thought that he would understand the word "married" since he was already using the words "boyfriend" and "relation"--both with a question mark. Finally my friend just stepped in and said "si" to the relation question and that was that.

And yes, having a budget is awesome and actually liberating, as strange as that may sound.

Jessica Latshaw said...

and anonymous--thanks for the link!

Jen said...

This entire post made me laugh and laugh. Thanks.

Pop said...

I'm completely with you on the misery induced by bunched-up socks. Certainly the world contains far greater miseries, but I do detest the feeling of lumpy socks around the ankles. And how about when they fall to under your feet?