Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I am a very picky eater.

It's true. I only recently gave mushrooms a fighting chance. Once I got over the biting into the squishy head part, I discovered they pretty much taste like whatever you cook them in.

And when I say whatever you cook them in, I don't mean you in the general sense of the word; I truly mean you as in not me. Because if we are talking about cooking mushrooms, chances are you will cook them before I do.

Though I am trying to be more open-minded when it comes to food, there are some tastes I do not ever foresee changing for me. For instance, I hate chili.

Hate. It.

Don't try to tell me what I am missing because I know exactly what I am missing: that horrible, mushy, beany texture and taste mixed in with too much spiciness and a lot of red sauce and I remain grateful to miss it. Every time.

I do, however, let bygones be bygones. If a friend, for instance, wants to eat chili nearby me I will not hinder him from doing so. Please just do not expect to kiss me afterwards.

Actually, unless you're Drew please never expect to kiss me. After anything. Or before, for that matter.

Oh, but when we were playing in Toronto I came down with the old Rhino Virus.

Yeah, a cold. And yeah, I am still talking about food here, which you'll see in just a moment.

I basically read Twilight in a day, lost my voice, and ate a lot of crackers (which was not actually the cause of the cold, but rather the result). My good friend Kevin started to work some magic in the kitchen and informed me that he was making his special award-winning chili (I may have added the award-winning part, but there seem to be so many awards out there for chili when, if we just concentrated on awarding people who make the economy better or invent more stores like Loehman's that sell designer clothes at like a fraction of the cost, there would be better dressed people in the world who have both saved money and don't have bad chili breath and are all the happier because of it. I'm just saying.). Kevin said I would be free to partake of his chili and I said thank you, politely refraining from telling him that had he offered to serve his chili to me on used toilet paper, my reluctance to partake would not have been any stronger.

Anyway, if I had known that poor sick little me was a large part of his inspiration to make his chili in the first place, I might have been more forthcoming at that moment. But I simply blew my nose and turned back to Twilight, oblivious.

A half hour later Kevin gently knocked on my door. Ah, Jess...?

I looked up from Twilight, Uh-huh?

What don't you like in chili? he wanted to know.

And suddenly I realized that he was making it for me. Shoot. The jig's up. I gotta come clean...

Um...I stalled...Chili...I said with resignation.

Wait. You don't like chili?!?!? Poor Kevin exclaimed.

I hate it so much, I said. Like more than anything, I elaborated.

Okay, he relented, I guess I'll just make it the way I like it, then.

Yeah, probably for the best, I agreed.

Right. So I don't like chili. But, when I find something I do like, I sort of become obsessed with it. Or at least I am very loyal to it. Like, I have for as long as I can remember ordered a grilled cheese sandwich from Friendly's. From the time when I thought it was made specifically for me, a girl in a house full of boys at the time, and pronounced it girl cheese sandwich, to discovering that it is for both girls and even boys, just so long as it is grilled, I have loved them.

And would you like to know my latest food obsession?

I could eat it all day, everyday. It is my very own green eggs and ham and I challenge you to show me a box or a fox with whom I would not enjoy some edamame.

This stuff is sooooooo good.

It's the very best thing to come out of sushi houses, as far as I am concerned.


John said...

poor kevin. jess, sometimes your cruelty knows no boundaries!

Jessica Latshaw said...

I know, things haven't been the same between us since...;-/

Jessica Latshaw said...

meant to add, God bless.

John said...


jason said...

Lyric and Ollie adore edamame. I suspect that's just a fancy asian name for green beans, though.

And Jessica, mushrooms? MUSHROOMS? Listen, it's you and me in this picky boat. Jonathan left it a long time ago. Josh was never in it, and neither was Jenna. but you and me - I could count on us not going crazy and eating fungusy things like mushrooms. What next? Cigarettes? Extra-marital sex? NASCAR?

Jessica Latshaw said...

Jase, first of all you forgot to say God Bless.

Second of all--I am not TRYING to eat them by any means. I am just saying that if one does happen to go down the hatch I am not going to go call poison control.

And have you tried edamame?!?!? Delish, truly.

Emily said...

I am a picky eater, too, but I have been better in recent years.. poor Dan, there was a day when I was a sorry wreck in a restaurant if they didn't have a burger on the menu! Now I have expanded vastly, but I am not such a fan of the soybean, although maybe some soy sauce would help! But I have to say, the best thing to come out of sushi houses would have to be a good spider roll. I do love sushi so very much... I haven't had breakfast yet, and my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Karenkool said...

This post gave me a nice morning chuckle... and then the comments. haha.

I started drinking coffee when I was still in high school. I think that burned enough tastebuds to allow me to enjoy most things, although I cannot eat sushi without gagging and I hate the smell of sauerkraut. I do love those beans you mentioned... edamame?

christine said...

Jess, since you are eating at sushi bars now, do you eat sushi or just the edamame? I can't remember now if you had ventured out that far...when you come back next time we'll have to go to Mikimotos in Wilmington. It's the best sushi place and I'm sure they have great edamame!

kathiek said...

I LOVE edamame (and sushi, mushrooms, and chili, too...we can agree to disagree, can't we?)...I would eat them cold or hot, from a plate or in a pot...I would eat them from a box, while standing in my eat them I'd go near or far, I'd even eat them in my car...I would eat them rain or shine, anytime would be just fine...plain, with salt, or sauce of soy, eating them fills me with joy...I would eat that edamame green and, by the way, God bless that bean!

jeanok said...

Wow Kathie K that was Awesome!!

Oh and I hate (oh I mean strongly dislike) the taste/smell/texture of chili as well...and wouldn't ya know husband LOVES it.

cant stand corn nuts either...ewww might as well call them chili nuts.

Jessica Latshaw said...

Christine--I am so going to Mikimoto's with you when I get back!

Emily--I have not had the courage to try anything but a nice safe California roll, but I do love them--however, a spider roll sounds...well, scary because of the whole spider part, but other than that, maybe good;-)

KK--I HATE sauerkraut, too, and for some reason people seem to love to eat it when they get together to watch football and I am the odd and hungry person out who politely refuses and wonders why the heck somebody doesn't offer something normal to eat? Okay, so maybe that happened once, but still--it was traumatic.

Gotta agree with Jeanok and say Kathie, that was amazing!!! And also on the corn nuts. Sounds horrible--and is it even corn OR a nut?!

Emily said...

Jess, if you like crab and tempura (battered and fried), you will love a spider roll. although it is really hard to eat in one bite, and have you ever tried to bite a piece of sushi in half? I am the queen of making a mess when I eat. it's very embarrassing.

Jessica Latshaw said...

I do like both crab and tempura--so I should try it next time! And if I make a big mess at least I know that I am not alone;-)

Jen said...

Jessica, everything you said about chili made me laugh. I, for one, love chili and love to make it in all different ways and I would love to get an award for my chili making skills. Maybe cause I know I'll never get one for selling designer clothes.

And Jason, what's wrong with a cigarette at a NASCAR game? Add a Coors Light and I can't think of anything classier.

Jessica Latshaw said...

Well Jen, since you love chili so much I suppose I would not begrudge you an award for your chili skills.