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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

sir...SIR?!?!

  Does the fact that I ate a salad for lunch balance out the fact that I ate about a hundred desserts for dinner?  


   No? 

   It doesn't work that way? 

   Oh. okay. 

    So, the other night I was doing my job. I know, I know--a medal is in order. But we were doing the portion of the show called the Ones in which we basically go over the same piece of choreography while singing that famous song, One, singular sensation... in repetition.  

    Pause for a moment while I tell you a piece of pertinent information. One of my good friends thinks it is quite hilarious to pretend that I am actually a boy. Hahahahahahahahahaha, right? Yes, I have very short hair. What a novel idea to call me a boy. Anyway, he gets quite a kick out of it while I tolerate it, at best.  Now back to the story.

   We get to the section of the Ones when Zach instructs all of the girls to line up and perform that same piece of choreography--this is quite appropriately called the girls' chorus.  I line up next to all of the other girls in the show, as I do every night, and start to dance while my friend chimes in from behind me, Oh...I'm sorry, but I am pretty sure this is the girls' chorus...

    I ignore him and continue dancing and singing. 

    What does he do? He gets louder, leans forward as to get a little closer to me and yells in mock concern, Excuse me, sir? SIR! This is not the boys' chorus--THIS IS THE GIRLS' CHORUS!!!!

     This whole little scene was played out upstage of me which is a fancy way of saying behind me while I was facing the unsuspecting audience. And let me say that I have never flipped anyone the bird before but boy, this was one time--I think the first, actually--when I really really wanted to to put my hand behind my back and do just that. 

     I didn't, but...

     Well, but for the grace of God, there go I...

9 comments:

peaj said...

Jokes are fun, until someone gets their feelings hurt or their eye put out.

Here's praying that you find the appropriate opportunity to say "the whole me-boy thing? So not funny anymore." And that he will hear and respect it.

Glad you were able to restrain your nasty gesture reaction, but he needs to know. Before you poke his eye out.

Pop said...

Want me to barge in backstage and tell him NEVER to say that kind of thing to my daughter EVER AGAIN!?

I'd still do it even though I'd probably get hauled into the director's office and banished forever from the theatre...plus made to apologize to your insensitive friend...

Maybe Drew can take this duty this time!

Emily said...

during the show? OBNOXIOUS! but it kinda made me laugh, just the absurdity! you would have been well within your rights to flip him off! but good for you that you didn't... I'm sure you know you look nothing like a boy!

jess said...

truth be told, I DO think its really funny-esp.that he did it during the show! And the thing is, if I really looked like a boy, my friend would never tease me. Oh and when I did tell drew about it, he cracked up and then I cracked up and we both had a good laugh about it...

jason said...

If you had flipped him off, I'm sure it would have only been "in character."

Jessica Latshaw said...

oh absolutely--it would have been "kristine," for sure.

John Carroll said...

Im sorry jess, but thats HILARIOUS! sounds like something i would looooooove to do to you onstage. who was it? by the way, its only funny because as you and everyone well knows, you have a body every girl would die/kill for! calling you a boy is like calling ME fat....just funny!

Jessica Latshaw said...

lol, John!

and thanks--oh--it was Dave Hull :/

and yeah, it was very funny;-)

kathiek said...

I am glad you refrained from doing what you wanted to do, Jess...you would probably have felt more annoyed with yourself, if you had done it, than you were with your friend.