Thursday, February 5, 2009

eat a hamburger and call me in the morning

      How many people go to see the physical therapist for a bothersome knee and get told to eat a hamburger?

      Um, only one that I know of.  

       See, I go in, tell him that my knee has been hurting and he starts to examine it. He twists it and turns it, pokes and prods me and lets me know that it isn't a torn anything. Well this is good. Maybe, he says, it is bruised...Hmmm. Okay. Then he looks at me and says, This might sound weird, but do you eat many hamburgers? 

      I wrack my brain for an inventory of things that I eat that could be classified as "many" and immediately see stacks of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...

     Uh, no, I reply.
     How about steak? he asks.

     Not really, I say.

      Do you take iron supplements? Drink protein shakes? 

      Nope, I answer, hoping that his next question involves cereal inhalation (okay, so I don't actually inhale it; but I do eat a lot of it) so I can finally give him a resounding yes.

     He doesn't even mention cereal and goes on to say, The reason I say this is that well, you are very small (he gives my leg a quick pinch as if to prove his point that if my leg were not very small, he wouldn't be able to so effortlessly pinch it). You don't have any fat, and therefore have no shock absorption. I am not a nutritionist, but you need to eat red meat. Is there a boy who could maybe take you out for some steak?

      I smile and say, I think I can find some friends who will eat some meat with me.

      He gives me a few knee exercises to do, looks at me and says, Try to eat a hamburger at least three times a week.  

       Okay, I will, I solemnly promise. Then I thank him and walk out the door.  

       When I told some of my friends this, they thought it was quite funny; in fact I am pretty sure that I will not hear the end of it anytime in the near future. And, as per my instructions, I went out after the show tonight and had a delicious hamburger. 

       I am thinking I am one hamburger closer to my knee feeling better.


The Husband said...

It's settled-We're getting a SERIOUS grill when you come home from tour.

Mom said...

Bizarre! He must think you need protein or iron? And that's the only way he could think to get it? Strange! I hope your knee feels better!

Jason said...

It's about time you got a serious grill. The way your current grill lights up and plays clown music and squirts grillers in the face is ridiculous.

Isn't there Iron in cereal? I thought it was fortified with it.

kathiek said...

Did your physical therapist look like the Geico caveman? Or Wimpy? ;-)

Jessica Latshaw said...

Drew--sure we can get a grill. A SERIOUS grill.

Jase--It is kind of embarrassing that we have had the silliest grill around!

Mom--the whole thing is kind of funny!

Kathie--surprisingly enough, he looked like neither;-)

kathiek said...

Hey, wait...I want a grill that lights up, plays clown music, and squirts grillers in the face!! Where can I get one?

Jessica Latshaw said...

from Drew--as soon as we replace it with the SERIOUS grill!!!