planes do eventually touch down, thank God

    I am now comfortably in Florida. I am exhausted, true, but here. However, it was not without it's difficulties, in terms of actually getting here.  

   Today is a stormy day in Tampa, so the last 20 minutes of the flight took its toll on me. The turbulence was not the worst I had experienced, so I didn't anticipate any problems, really.

   Famous last words.

   To use one of my mom's favorite idioms, I became sick as a dog. Horribly, shivery, sweatily sick. I had been cold during the flight but all of the sudden I had to rip off my sweatshirt as if it was lined in fire, I became that hot. And that wasn't even close to good enough. I had to roll up the already short sleeves of my t-shirt and pull up my jeans as high as they would go on my legs. Luckily I was not wearing my skinny jeans. It was only the ever-present awareness of modesty instilled in me by my God-fearing parents that kept me with clothes on at all.

   The veins in my arms were popping out. This may have made sense if I had just been lifting weights heavily for the past hour. I hadn't. I had just been sleeping for the past hour. I turned on the tiny fan above my head, trying to get as close to it as possible. The relief that brought was actually quite invaluable; the way I responded to it, you would have thought it was the whirr of angel's wings above me. 

  It was then that I started doing some deep breathing, not unlike what I have imagined a pregnant woman does in the throes of labor. In and out, in and out, nice and slow as I sucked the air back and forth through my mouth like a straw. 

  Maybe it was my Darth Vador sounds that made my seat neighbor take pity on me. Not understanding exactly what was going on, he simply assumed I was terrified that the plane would go down in the storm.

  He patted my arm clumsily as he said in a heavily accented voice, Eet weel be okay. You see.

   I smiled and nodded and tried not to throw up on him. He continued by pointing out the window, motioning to the fog and rain, and telling me, Thees--thees ees normal... 

  

   He gave me a fatherly smile. I thought to myself, Yes, but I am not normal right now... 

   My friend who was sitting right in front of me happened to look back around then. Noticing my pasty face, he asked if I was okay. I simply shook my head and he reached back and held my hand, telling me that I would be fine.  Nice guy.

   That plane could not land fast enough for my taste.  It's amazing how solid ground beneath you can restore a body. My veins went back to normal. The shivery sweatiness receded and I could actually wear my sweatshirt once again without feeling like I was being boiled alive.  I could feel some color even creeping back into my complexion.  

  I got myself together and stepped off the plane into the rich, moisture filled air of Florida. Ah. I hope I see an alligator, but not too closely if you know what I mean. I might go to Disney World. I will be seeing my brother, Josh, who amazingly enough has a conference in Orlando on my day off in Orlando next week.  

  Good times.  

  Not necessarily on the plane, per se, but good times immediately followed.