there's a reason why this isn't a children's theater show, folks

       Maybe it isn't the very best idea to sell 2100 seats of a 3000 seat theater that is currently hosting A Chorus Line to students.  Not graduate students, not college students, not even high school students--no, elementary and middle school students.  You know, in the history of good ideas, maybe that one isn't on the top. Or near the top. Or on the list.  

        But perhaps I am being too harsh.  Perhaps it isn't such a big deal that this pulitzer prize winning script--something that deals with mature subjects and yes, finds the humor in them, but in a smart way, a thinking way--was brought down to scale; a scale that marginalizes what it means to talk about being a homosexual, making it into some sort of cartoon that is laughed at because that is what we do when either we don't understand something (and I am thinking that a lot of the kids fell into this category), or we do and it makes us feel uncomfortable.   

     I can remember when, as a first grader, my teacher Mrs. Smith read us a book called Suzie's Babies.  I still remember her attempt to somberly tell us about the technical terms of the reproductive organs of these hamsters (Suzie was a hamster, in case you didn't realize or in case you care. Oh, and just so we're clear, hamsters and humans share technical terms of reproductive organs).  Sure, we had heard these words before, but only in secret, from our parents, and had been warned again and again not to mention them in public places and certainly not ever around grandparents.  Hearing those private and adult words like that, read from the head of the class by Mrs. Smith who handed out fudge to us on a weekly basis, sent a good amount of us into gales of laughter, myself included.  We got in trouble, but I don't think we should have.  I think that a first grader didn't need to be reminded of those words then and there in front of all our peers and I think our laughter was much more natural than Mrs. Smith reading the book aloud to us in the first place.  I guess my point is that the kids' reaction to our show was only normal, all things considered; but I do wonder if it was smart of the parents or teachers of the kids to subject them to such adult content.  I am just saying.   

   Also, there is a certain amount of maturity that is necessary to be able to process some of the themes in my show, and most elementary students--nee, all--do not yet possess it.  There is a  certain amount of growing up that is necessary before you can see something on stage and realize that it isn't something you should go out and emulate...And elementary students--well, you get my point.  

   And here is the kicker: at the climax of the show, when we are walking back up to "the line," to find out who gets the job, there is a slow underscoring of the song "One." What do these students decide to do?  A slow, off-beat clap to the music.  Suddenly, an audience that is not supposed to even be at this audition in the first place is not just there, but is present in an awful surround sound, fighting with the orchestra and our own attempt at theater and dominating the scene.  Oh, those claps were terrible, just terrible.  And I will never forget them.

  So, I would say to probably leave your kids at home for this show, as a general rule.  But if you absolutely insist on bringing your young kid that you are deluded into thinking is mature enough to handle it, then please, try not to bring 2100 of his friends.  That's all I ask.