Friday, September 19, 2008

thanks for the input, really.

      If you think something is really truly ugly, do you say so?

      I mean, if you were a friend of somebody who just bought, say, a new pair of high top sneakers, that happen to be camel brown with bright pink accents, would you tell them if you thought they were hideous? 

      Because, I wouldn't.  

    Maybe that is just the way I was raised or something, but if I don't like something that somebody obviously does like, then I keep my own counsel.  And even if they ask me if I like it? Well, I try to say something--anything--that is encouraging to them.  Like, You definitely look great in it.  Or, You can certainly pull that off. And, You're so beautiful, you look great in everything!*

*uh-oh, now if I happen to say any one of those phrases to any of you, you will know that I secretly think you look awful!  

     See, I recently acquired some new kicks--the high tops described above, in case you didn't get that--and was told by more than one person in the cast that they are ugly.  Well, I can think of a number of things that I would certainly toss on the pile of things I consider to be ugly that these nay-sayers wear often, but do I mention my opinion to them? No, not a peep.  

    And that's not all.  I had just bought these lovely, light grey skinny jeans and was trying them on when a friend happened to walk in.  Excitedly, I asked him if he liked my newest purchase and posed for him to see. His response: Ew, they're hideous. Nobody should wear skinny jeans, they don't flatter anybody.  He did admit that I didn't look absolutely terrible, but he remained strong in his opposition of the skinny jeans, in general.  I reminded him that skinny jeans are in, whether he likes it or not; that he could learn a thing or two about what was in, rather than simply wearing his normal jeans day after day, to which he replied: I wear normal jeans because I AM normal. 

    Well, I said, I wear skinny jeans because I am...skinny.  

    Just one more example: Drew had just bought me a new t-shirt from the Lucky store for my birthday and I was excitedly wearing it.  It's super cute--reddish, pink with this paisley heart-thing on the front.  Anyway, I asked my friend if she liked my new birthday t-shirt and after summarily giving it a glance, she said, No. It's too busy. 

   Oh, okay. 

     I guess one good thing is that I can really believe what these guys tell me, cause they certainly don't sugar-coat their opinions.  And at the end of the day, that's just what it is: their opinion.  So, I will continue to wear my high tops, my busy t-shirts, and my skinny jeans.  

   But maybe I should stop asking my friend's opinions on things.  

    And speaking of people telling me their opinions, I have recently been told by a few people--one who is a friend of a friend who saw me in the show and told her, who then told me, and if you follow this you deserve mad props--that I look like Leisha Hailey in this commercial.

    What do you guys think?  Do you agree?  And actually, I do kind of agree--so don't be afraid to voice your opinion; it really won't hurt my feelings.  I am used to it;-)


jason said...

1) I don't think much of anything is ugly, I see the potential in just about everything. Except I don't like it when people always wear sweats. That bugs me. But that's because they are basically broadcasting to the world "I've given up."

2) People are afraid of new, unfamiliar things.

3) I don't think it's the way you were raised, necessarily, I've never known Pop or Mom to shy away from a "it's hideous" opinion here or there. And Jenna and Jonathan certainly don't stifle their opinions either!

4) Asking people their opinions on things is akin to chumming the water. Those sharks would normally swim right by but when they smell blood they attack. Don't ask what they think... that signifies weakness on your part and again encourages attack. Tell them what to think. Declare it fierce and move on. OK, not really a life philosophy but you know what I mean. I NEVER tell people (except for a very trusted few) when I'm having a hard time with a story, or am thinking something isn't working, or whatever. The very act of you doubting devalues the writing in their eyes and opens it up to critiques that aren't even valid.

5) Your link isn't working. Maybe you should take copy and pasting lessons.

Anonymous said...

ok, yes, you look a little like her, but it's the hair, i think.

as far as the "input", there is something to be said for honesty, i suppose, but i tend to be like you and try to find the positive usually. and for the record you always look cute and skinny jeans are perfectly acceptable and encouraged. and you better rock those converse and lucky tees!! :)

kathiek said...

First things, first: Maybe it is the hair that prompted that comment from the friend of a friend of my uncle's cousin's nephew's neighbor, ;-), but I think you are much prettier! She's pretty, but you have this elfin quality to you that is very attractive!

I WISH I could wear skinny jeans...well, I could, if there were 3 of them sewn together!! I've seen you in skinny jeans and a tank or a tee (although I cannot recall ever seeing you in high tops), and you STILL look chic!

I always appreciate people's positive comments on how I look, but I try never to walk into a room looking like I care about what people think (even if I feel secretly a little unsure). I walk in like I belong there, and I own my look.

Lady Leth said...

I think i wouuld probably love your high-tops. And Jess, I literally had a conversation at lunch the other day about skinny jeans and how I have a friend (you) who can totally pull them off and look great. So there!

But I think jason is right, people are afraid of things that are different, and I have always thought that what I like is cool, and then go with it. You should keep on keeping cool.

merry said...

I don't ask if people like stuff unless I know that they do. Usually when I am asking someone if they like something I only want to hear that they do like it.It is kind of unfair on my part because if they don't like it they have to either be honest and say something negative or lie(or spin the truth). Most people just lie. If you like something just be happy with it.If someone truly likes something that you are wearing they will usually compliment it on their own. You always look cool and it is the confident person who can pull off most looks...well, actually, even most confident people can't pull off skinny go for it.

Jessica Latshaw said...

Jason--it DOES work! I have clicked on it three times now, and it goes directly to the yoplait commercial!

Perhaps you need lessons on clicking a mouse..;-)

But, yes I will stop asking people their opinions on things!

But--thank you everyone for your kind, encouraging words! It means a lot to me.

You guys rock!

Anonymous said...

ok you know i have an obsession with high tops, so number one, you gotta link us to a picture! i probably will love them. everyone here makes fun of my moccassins....only the most comfortable shoes ever, whatever!

also, the only reason you look like the girl in the commercial is your haircut. because you are always a blondie in my head, i don't reaaally see the resemblence. which reminds me of the day i couldn't find you at chelsea studios because you were brunette with chin length hair and bangs. you sure have transformed a lot in the past 2 years! miss u!

Jessica Latshaw said...

Bree-that's funny that I will forever be blond to you! My friends in this cast saw some old pictures of me on Anthony's computer from when we did Fame (and I had hippie-long blond hair). They were like, Oh my gosh! Look at you with bond hair; I never would have been able to picture it!!!!

You're right, my hair has changed a bunch!!!

Anna K said...

First off, I am lucky enough to see Jess every day (except some Mondays) and she looks absolutely cute and stylish all the time. I WISH I could pull off skinny jeans!
I haven't seen the new high tops but I can't imagine brown and pink shoes that AREN'T cute.
And I've been meaning to mention that the shiny blue unitard mentioned a few posts ago was indeed magnificent.

Jessica Latshaw said...


I love that you mentioned that shiny blue unitard, Anna! And thanks!!!

Michele said...

I think there are some things that are ugly, like obese women in belly shirts, but in general, I don't think of things as ugly, more as not right for a certain person. I, for instance, can not pull off skinny jeans - Lara, on the other hand, can. So, skinny jeans bad for me, good for Lara (and Jess :) )

Nina said...

I'm fairly certain I've never seen you not looking great, so I think you in the "busy" T-shirt, skinny jeans, and high tops would be no exception. But I agree about asking for opinions -- it's safer not to.

Not sure you look much like yogurt girl; I've always thought you look a bit like Cameron Diaz.

Jessica Latshaw said...

well thanks, nina--that's really sweet!

skinny man in flowing robe said...

like obese women in belly shirts

to each his (or her) own, Michelle. I for one really dig this look.

merry said...

Oh and for the love of PETE you do not look like that yogurt girl. They are the most annoying commercials and you are much much prettier.

kathiek said...

Jess, for the first time in my life, I walked into the Lucky Brand store at Christiana Mall this past Tuesday...and bought a pair of jeans!!! It is all your fault (thank you!). Your comments made me want to go into the store and look for the "busy" (ugh, blind woman!) t-shirt, which I could not find, so I bought the jeans (which are handmade and fair trade, BTW) instead. And I saw a great sweater, which I am seriously thinking about getting, even though it is overpriced. Also, while I was there, the sales person (who, I am positive, was less than half my age) was actually afraid to tell me she thought I was 33 years old (it was a relevant comment, it would just take too long to go into all the details)! I have a pretty highly developed "kiss-up" detector, so I am certain she was being genuine. In any case, I had previously dismissed that store as one of those places that would look at me and say, "What are YOU doing in here? We obviously have nothing in here for someone your age!" As it turns out, that was not the case!

Jessica Latshaw said...

Kathie--way to rock those Lucky Jeans!!! Yay, glad that I can be blamed for you walking in there...;-)

Also, I didn't realize they were fair trade, but now that I know that, it totally makes me even more glad to shop there! And you really do look young--most would never put you at the age you are!

And last, what is a school teacher doing up at an hour like this?!?!

kathiek said...

It's a leftover from the summer, I guess. I am a night owl after all. I just force myself to go to bed earlier during the school year. Last night my inner night owl won.