Monday, July 13, 2009

a part of the journey

On Tuesday, after having had more than a week off from the show and if I were to be totally honest, dealing with ribs that hadn't healed yet, I was feeling...wonky.

Weird in a leotard all over again.

Trying to find my center.

Wondering where the heck it was that I spotted when I did those turns on stage anyway.

Hoping that I remembered my monologue and lyrics.

And now? Well, eight shows later I am feeling much less wonky and more myself.

My leotard is once again like a second skin to me.

I found my center.

I found an exit sign that does quite nicely for a place to spot while I turn.

My ribs are feeling much better, thankyouverymuch.

And well, I am still hoping that I remember my monologue and lyrics. Not sure when that is going to change. Though, most of the time I do--remember my lyrics, that is. But still, the times when I didn't stand out like a lesson learned the hard way; like a lesson that could always come back for round two if I am not careful.

Or even if I am.

Because mistakes happen.

And realizing that and then moving on is a part of my journey right now. It's not a terribly bad journey, really, but I'd enjoy it much more if it weren't so riddled with my mistakes. See I have always tried my very hardest to be perfect and I hate when I so obviously am not. Stupid, I know, but like I said, it's a part of my journey.

It's a part of humility.

It's a part of life.

So there you go.

Oh, and this week a few of us have been dancing before the show, in an effort to remember how to do something other than Michael Bennett's choreography. It's actually been fun and challenging and a nice reminder that I do indeed love to dance.

And because I have been moving in ways that differ from what I have been doing in the show for these past 14 months, I have ended up sore.

Which is fine with me.

It means that I am growing and being challenged.

Which is another part of my journey.


James Ricardo The Actor said...

I'm so with you on your whole blog entry!

peaj said...

Nice post. I like your attitude toward soreness - something I often forget.

I think you have today off. If so, have a great one!

sherri said...

I'm sore everyday- for different reasons (old age!) but I love your outlook!

kathiek said...

That "wonky" re-entry happens to me every September.

Jessica Latshaw said...

JR-I know you are! And tell me this: What the heck are we going to do after three weeks off??? Your mesh shirt and my leotard are gonna feel even more foreign then...We need a plan, my friend!!!

Peaj--Today is a day off and I am sooooooooooo happy about this. Gonna visit some family and relax!!!

Sherri--since you are sore every day anyway, why don't you come dance with us before a show sometime? I bet you could show us something really cute in your stilletos!!!;-)

Kathie--yep, I bet you know exactly what I am talking about. Getting back into a routine after not having had one for a bit is just plain tough!