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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Hamstrings, Proper Pronouns, and Tanning, Oh My!

       So, I have had a few days off, which has been wonderful. These are called golden days on tour--days in which we neither travel, rehearse, or perform.  I have been staying with my brother and sister-in-law (Jason and Darby), and my niece and nephew (Lyric and Ollie) which has been so fun.  Today, Jase and I went on a hike in the Santa Monica mountains.  There were many lizards doing the hike also, though they were much faster than us.  At the top of the mountain, we could see LA spread out before us--and the pacific ocean in the background.  I was trying to walk in a way that worked out my hamstrings, and so you don't think that statement is absolutely random, I will tell you why...Recently, I went to a massage therapist who gave me the unfortunate news that I have a pulled muscle in my right hip (which was not a surprise, because it has been hurting), and that my hamstrings were messed up (though, he did not use such a benign term for it).  Basically, I have overdeveloped quads compared to my hamstrings and glutes--and my quads have been taking over my life.  Oh--and my hamstrings are tight as a drum and need to be stretched pretty much every second of the day.  Awesome.  Now, if you saw the choreography that I do in this show, then all this would make sense.  So, anyway--I was trying to make sure my quads were not taking over, but I think they are used to it, so it's hard not to do.  But, I have been making a point to stretch even more...But, the hike was awesome.  I love being outside, love seeing natural beauty.

       Yesterday, I went to the promenade with Darby because she had an appointment for her mac at the Apple Genius Bar.  Now, her mac were being assessed by an individual named Dee. Dee is somebody who is midway through a metamorphosis.  Dee is a man, but is becoming a woman.  Dee is very tall, with broad shoulders, an adam's apple, and a boxy torso--none of which helps Dee's case so much.  Plus, though Dee does not suffer from a lack of make-up, Dee does suffer from a lack of skill when it comes to applying it.  Anyway, at one point I randomly asked Darby a question for which I could have bitten my tongue the moment I said it. Referring to Dee, I asked, So, is HE going to be able to fix it?  At that point, I couldn't have said, I mean, she... Cause that would have just made my faux pas even more obvious.  Darby just looked at me, I looked away, and Dee just walked away for a moment.  So, moral of the story: Always use the proper name of a person--especially when the person is somewhere in the middle of a big change.  
        On a final note, I was walking around the promenade for a while yesterday--which happens to be an outdoor mall.  So, yeah, I was in the sun.  And I ended up with stripes--tan lines.  Oh, and I am NOT ALLOWED to have tan lines, because of my costume for the show (a halter leotard and fishnet tights) the tan lines would be very visible.  I am not supposed to alter my appearance at all--and Kristine (my character) really cannot go on stage with stripes.  So, now I have to visit a tanning salon here in LA (first time ever at a tanning salon), and try to even out everything.  I am a little nervous. I'll probably be a little red. I know tanning salons aren't good for you, so please don't harangue me with all the reasons why I shouldn't go--it's just so I don't get in trouble (which probably isn't the best reason to do something that isn't good for me, I realize).  And I guess while I am out, I should pick up some sunscreen. Had I done that in the first place, I could have avoided this whole mess.  Sigh.    

11 comments:

peaj said...

Gosh, are you sure you shouldn't be writing for a living? I read this little gem:

"Oh--and my hamstrings are tight as a drum and need to be stretched pretty much every second of the day. Awesome."

and started chuckling. Something about that "Awesome" (sarcastic, much?) just set me off.

Maybe I have the advantage of distance, but it strikes me that you aren't the one with gender confusion. So I'm not sure the faux pas is actually yours.

Finally, I would think that you would always wear a bulky coat, a head scarf and dark glasses. You know, to throw your adoring fans off the trail a bit. That outfit could help with the sun, too.

Susan Marie said...

Jess, I went to a tanning salon before I went to St. Lucia to avoid burning in the equatorial sun. A really helpful lady who owned the salon gave me some tips, so I can tell you from personal experience that if you tan in short sessions every other day for about a week or two (I have no idea how long you have to correct your striped appearance), and use a really moisturizing lotion (ask a knowledgeable person at the tanning salon for a recommendation), then you should see the results you are looking for without overly damaging your skin. Also, cover your face with a towel or wash cloth to avoid wrinkles- unless of course your face is also striped!

jason said...

Dee IS a woman! I know it!!!

Jessica Latshaw said...

You just hope Dee is, cause you're secretly attracted to her.

Jason said...

Some random comments:

Now, if you saw the choreography that I do in this show, then all this would make sense.

You are REALLY over-estimating our knowledge of choreography and the effects it has on different body muscles.

So, anyway--I was trying to make sure my quads were not taking over, but I think they are used to it, so it's hard not to do.

Newsflash: muscles don't have minds.

Oh, and I am NOT ALLOWED to have tan lines, because of my costume for the show (a halter leotard and fishnet tights) the tan lines would be very visible.

You're making it sound like you're a "performer." What kind of performer, if you don't mind me asking.

Collin and Lindsay said...

hey jessica! just found the email that you sent announcing your blog buried in my gmail inbox. it's so fun to hear all about your life as a broadway performer. i just caught up on all your posts, and the one about home was really touching. i know that--as intoxicating as it is to be a part of what you are doing--you are also sacrificing a lot to do it. all you have left behind, all the work that it takes, and all the discipline and courage it took along the way...i'm glad to hear the tales of what you are now getting to experience!

jonathan said...

Collin and Linds truly represent two becoming one -- they are two but speak in a singular voice. They should teach our next marriage course.

Lindsay said...

That is funny! I guess that I was signed in under the name Col used for posting updates to our blog. I didn't realize that until after I already published the comment.

Mindy said...

wow, jess... i love this blog of yours!!! you are describing things so vividly that I feel like I am living your life!

you know, you are an inspiration... to have a dream this big and believe in yourself AND actually make it happen takes a special person. i am so happy to know you and share in this experience via your blog. and by the way, you could become a writer (in reference to your "what now" question) you are really good at it.

Jessica Latshaw said...

Thanks, mindy and Linds! I love knowing that my friends know about my life--it helps me feel more connected to you guys!

Jessica Latshaw said...

This is for Jason:

I do many deep lunges in the opening scene. I figure most of you have the working knowledge of a lunge and what it does to the quads: uses them. Perhaps, I was wrong and overestimated your intelligence, but I think not.

Yes, muscles do not have minds. But they have instincts, or "muscle memory." Meaning that in given movement, the biggest muscle group will try to control it (take over), making it so that the smaller or less developed muscles will take a back seat to the event. That is why I need to do things to specifically work on my smaller muscles--so that they can be contenders with my quads. Capishe?

And the performer question is hard for me to understand. I am a dancer/singer/ actress. You are my brother. You saw my first-ever recital. You know this. Is there some humor I am not getting?