On Tuesday, after having had more than a week off from the show and if I were to be totally honest, dealing with ribs that hadn't healed yet, I was feeling...wonky.
Weird in a leotard all over again.
Trying to find my center.
Wondering where the heck it was that I spotted when I did those turns on stage anyway.
Hoping that I remembered my monologue and lyrics.
And now? Well, eight shows later I am feeling much less wonky and more myself.
My leotard is once again like a second skin to me.
I found my center.
I found an exit sign that does quite nicely for a place to spot while I turn.
My ribs are feeling much better, thankyouverymuch.
And well, I am still hoping that I remember my monologue and lyrics. Not sure when that is going to change. Though, most of the time I do--remember my lyrics, that is. But still, the times when I didn't stand out like a lesson learned the hard way; like a lesson that could always come back for round two if I am not careful.
Or even if I am.
Because mistakes happen.
And realizing that and then moving on is a part of my journey right now. It's not a terribly bad journey, really, but I'd enjoy it much more if it weren't so riddled with my mistakes. See I have always tried my very hardest to be perfect and I hate when I so obviously am not. Stupid, I know, but like I said, it's a part of my journey.
It's a part of humility.
It's a part of life.
So there you go.
Oh, and this week a few of us have been dancing before the show, in an effort to remember how to do something other than Michael Bennett's choreography. It's actually been fun and challenging and a nice reminder that I do indeed love to dance.
And because I have been moving in ways that differ from what I have been doing in the show for these past 14 months, I have ended up sore.
Which is fine with me.
It means that I am growing and being challenged.
Which is another part of my journey.
