Happy New Year.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
- Drew playing a trombone solo. I mean--a trombone solo, people! How awesome is that?
- My brother, Jason, and I wearing matching fedoras. Sweet.
- Covering the boysetsfire song, The Misery Index. My oldest brother Josh is a founding member of that band, so singing that song was so special.
- Seeing my family--at least a lot them--mingling with my friends.
- playing with my brother Josh, my good friend Christian, Drew, and singing with my sister-in-law, Rebekah.
- staying late and talking with friends I haven't seen for a while--all to the background music of a little cluster of men playing an assortment of brass instruments in the back of the bar.
- Getting told by a friend that I have the most f@#*ing beautiful family. Ha. Like I didn't already know that.
Friday, December 26, 2008
There is something about people sharing a common goal that makes you close. It gels you together, like it or not, in a way that is binding. You share experiences, persevere together, and suddenly bam! you are close.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
And here I present my whole family. Well, almost. Me and my nephew Judah are not in the pic; I was holding the camera and Judah had it in his two-year-old mind that it was most certainly not time to pose for a picture and was time to walk around the living room like he owned the place.
Me and my siblings! They are some of the best people in the world; three big brothers, one little sister--who could ask for anything more?!
My five nieces. Starting in the foreground, going clockwise, they are Cosette, Selah, Lyric, Charis, and Emerson...beautiful names for beautiful girls. Oh and there in the background is my sister-in-law Rebekah and my awesome little scalawag of a nephew, Judah.
Drew posing like a super hero while modeling some of the clothing he opened on Christmas morning. I had to crop the pic a little, for modesty's sake, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that those pieces weren't meant to be worn in quite that manner...
And you know that wonderful sentiment about dancers being graceful? Right, well I spend most of my life disproving that theory. Like yesterday. I was holding my large cat and trying to round a corner that I successfully maneuver every day of my life, when my leg hit our coffee table harder than any leg has ever hit any coffee table in the history of legs and coffee tables combined, and I managed to get this:
It hurt so much. I threw myself on our couch and writhed and screamed while Drew was trying to figure out if he should call 911 cause he hadn't pieced together what, exactly, was wrong with me from my incoherent screams and moans.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas Eve! Or rather, Merry Christmas, since it is now past midnight.
Monday, December 22, 2008
These are the moments when I need to remind myself: this is what I wanted. When I need to look back to the auditions in the city, the thrill of being asked to stay to sing, to come back and dance some more, to read lines; the thrill of realizing that someone who works on Broadway shows is interested in me, sees potential in me.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
When this thing occurs, Drew and I will not be dressed like this,
though, we will still be smiling, I am sure. And there will most certainly not be any of these guys
around. Which is why I had to get my kisses in when I could.
and will most certainly be able to see a few of these guys
around. And if we're really lucky, maybe even this guy.
Though he doesn't exactly look thrilled to have visitors, does he? Oh well, we wouldn't stay long and would be sure to wipe the sand off our feet when entering his
at all during the duration of this event.
Friday, December 19, 2008
I am exhausted. But happy. So this is good, right? Well, right now it's good because I am laying in bed, computer snugly in my lap, with nothing pressing until tomorrow's matinee. So this exhaustion is not so overwhelming. But it may have felt a mite overwhelming when I woke up this way, after having spent a night that did not have the amount of sleeping hours I need.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
That I proudly had on my arm at opening night parties...
Would ever be capable of looking like this...
However, the vows remain for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, in human-form, or as a R.O.U.S, I suppose.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
I was driving to work the other day, listening to the title song of Over the Rhine's Christmas album, Snow Angel. And I started crying. Like really crying. You know, face-crumpled-squinting-through-tears crying.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Tomorrow is my last day off until Christmas Day.
Oh, and ACL is also opening in Philly on Tuesday. We will be at the Forrest Theater for the next three weeks and if you can, I'd love for you to come see the show. It's kind of what's been keeping me far from home for these past seven month. And kind of a dream fulfilled.
Okay, enough with the shameless plugs, right? Sheesh.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
My husband is in the Nutcracker this year. Um, it used to be that I was the one in the big story ballets, but nope. Now it's Drew. And before you worry about the image of Drew prancing around in tights on a well-lit stage surrounded by tutu-bound ballerinas, let me put your mind at ease: He is playing an overgrown rat, The Rat King, to be precise.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Judging by the extreme exhaustion I am now facing, this will be a short post.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I told one of my favorite people in the world that I was going to call it an early night tonight. And I was. I was in bed, wearing my ridiculous mint green matching-top-and-bottom pajamas by midnight. I was snuggled and ready for sleep to claim me.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I left the basket alone for a few minutes as I went upstairs. Drew was running out the door, so we said our good byes, and I went looking for a ribbon for a finishing touch. I went back downstairs, and found this...
Sweet, helpful, might-be-on-crack Drew took it upon himself to doctor up the basket for me. I mean what young woman wouldn't want two old utensils, a gun, a walkie-talkie, and a familiar kitchen appliance? Yes, you guessed it--the kangaroo-testicles/bottle opener was sitting on top like the cherry on an ice cream sundae. (turns out it isn't a can opener, like I had earlier thought. Can you blame me for getting it wrong, though? Come on--I really didn't look past the balls to be able to clearly identify it). All this was in addition to the wine, cheese, crackers, and chocolates of course.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Some people know exactly what they will be doing next year, in three years, even in five. Me, I really don't know. And that can be...well, a lot of things. Scary. Exciting. Adventurous. Scary. Oh yeah, I said that one already.
I know what I would like to be doing, sure; but I have no guarantee.
I am someone who finds comfort in routine, actually. Maybe that surprises you. I love second days of a new job, but I tend to really dislike first days. I don't know the music yet, the choreography, the people. And in that vulnerable state of flying by the seat of my pants in front of a group of talented and total strangers, I can get uncomfortable, even scared.
I guess that is where the acting comes in. Or maybe it's called faith. You know, the evidence of things that aren't seen, aren't even felt sometimes. Like I pretend I am confident, pretend that I know what the heck I am doing. Pretend I am funny, smart, great, blah, blah, blah...When in reality, I am feeling scared and if I had my perfect way in that moment, I might just go home and eat cereal and put on a pair of pants with an elastic waistband.
I'd maybe watch an episode of the Office.
But, that's just the first day of something new-afterwards, it gets much much better; to the point where I am anticipating my work, excited to be there, and not even thinking about how I feel anymore.
And I am really glad that I don't let my feelings of being scared dictate what I do. I am so grateful that my parents didn't let me just stay home because I was scared to take ballet, scared to take piano, scared to go to summer dance intensives. I am glad that they saw the potential that lay within my grasp, if I could just grapple with some fear first to get there.
And so I did.
But don't get me wrong; fear has never completely gone away. It still knows my name intimately. It's always hanging around, checking in, looking for an unlocked door, a crack in the window. But I have learned to fear something greater than just the feeling of fear itself. Not reaching my potential scares me. And that nagging little question, What if? Two tiny words that can drive any sane person to madness, causing many a white nights to create telling purple shadows under the eyes along the way.
The proverb wisely says, Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Beautiful. Truthful. Urgent. This tells me, tells us something, right? I cannot afford to become a shadow of myself, walking around with a sick heart, unable to see the right way, the best way because I had long ceased even looking for it. Or dreaming of it.
So right, I don't honestly know exactly what I will be doing a year from now. But it has to be something fulfilling, something life giving. I have to believe that. And when all of the uncertainty that is a given in this business rushes at me like the ocean's pull at high tide, I have to close my eyes and just know. It. Will. Be. Okay. Somebody a lot smarter that me, with a ton more clairvoyance, as well, planned it that way.
Monday, December 8, 2008
He has made it very clear that our bedding cannot have flowery things, I think is how he put it, and if we are debating on a color, he immediately comes up with the idea of green, brown, or blue. Or a combination of all three. His idea of nice furniture is sometimes, I am sad to say, a hideous creation known as a gaming chair and yes, it looks just as ugly as it sounds. We did compromise on that one, though, and he carried it up to his room, a place that I never really go anyway.
And this special chest that my parents' gave to me before our wedding. It is an antique dating back to the 1800's and is a real piece of luggage that people used to travel with. You can tell by the arched top that it belonged to a wealthier person--they would make sure the lids of their chests were curved to ensure that nothing could be stacked on top of it, thereby keeping it on top of the pile and easily accessible.
And my piano. Another amazing gift from my parents. I love, love, love it.
And this is one of my favorite spots in our house. The dining room table is a hand-me-down from Jason and Darby. I also love the contrast of the yellow walls with the green picture.
And our kitchen...Drew designed the layout and it's so homey and us, somehow.
Another special spot. The fabric picture, the drapes, and the contrast of the greens against the tan make me glad.
But I guess, no matter how great a couple is for each other, they are bound to disagree. You can imagine my chagrin when I got home tonight and found that heinous can-opener with a handle made out of kangaroo testicles back in its place of honor. The same place from which I had taken it down when I got home last week. And once again it is hanging right next to the beautifully crafted measuring spoons that were a gift from Darby, as well as the Williams and Sonoma pot holders that were a gift from Drew.
Is it just me--or does one of these things not belong here? And would anyone mind agreeing with me on this one? I think that can opener would look great right next to the ugly chairs in Drew's special room...
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Tonight was an interesting show. During the opening we started to hear some unusual noises emitting from the audience. We looked at each other in puzzlement, trying to figure out the cause.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
I have to say, Baltimore has been so kind. Their response to ACL has been amazing--they are laughing at all the right places, wonderfully responsive to every number, and so present. It does the heart good. And tonight, they gave us a standing ovation, which was again, just so kind.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
I am home.
It's a little surreal to drive through the same neighborhoods, stop at the same traffic lights, and pull up to our sweet little house all connected in a tidy row with the other houses in the neighborhood; only ours stands out entirely because it is well, ours.